Ashes

11 For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— 13 each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. 14 If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.

1 Corinthians 3 : 12-15 (ESV)

a few months ago at WTC Music Team session, the brother invited to give the message received a picture of me seeing my work going up in smoke. Yet he spoke a prophecy that the ashes would reform into the work I had been seeking.

Up til now, I still haven’t seen those ashes become beauty. I still see a pile of burnt remains from a fire. But recalling this verse to mind, perhaps there were many things not right in my work prior to NS.

If the work passes God’s trial of fire, it is worthy of praise. Conversely, if it’s not fit, it’s consumed by fire. Perhaps my time as a fireman made me take for granted that fire is an agent of purity: out of fire comes pure gold, silver and precious stones untainted by dross and ashes.

So, when I saw that my dreams go up in smoke, was it then just the impurity that had to be removed? Is there some remnant of precious item left in it? I can only pray that God found some.

For now, life’s been about rebuilding ruins. Putting first things first. Trying to climb back to the height I’ve fallen from. Getting back from where I left off. At times it’s mundane and seemingly sisyphean. Other times it’s exciting but daunting because there’s no end in sight. One can only move on and wait for God to make things fall in place in due course.

There is but one fear I harbour: when I get back to that height, what next? Where will God lead next?